Abe and Zana are barely out of diapers. They know their ABCs, Abe can read small books, Zana can do a puzzle by herself, they both can wash their hands by themselves but they are still so tiny. So little. So fragile. Changes at these early ages seem less important when I think about friends with pre-teens and teenagers facing the realities of living overseas however a recent decision to return to the States for a longer period of time has got my brain reeling. Sometimes I throw my hands up and belly laugh at the thought of Abe's great grandmother riding in the car and hearing Abe bellow, "Cross! I saw a cross! A Cross like where Jesus died! Did you see the CROSS??"
Here are a half dozen problems that I see looming for my children.......
1. Cross excitement.
My son sees a cross on a Catholic Church in a northern part of town perhaps once a week. Every time he sees it he shouts out with fervor and excitement. What will family think when this happens in the States? What will my little son think when he stops seeing idols, temples, mosques and mazaars daily and instead sees crosses? Will he fall under the false thought that everyone is Christian in America?
I remember as a kid always singing the American anthem when we saw the flag outside the Karachi consulate and Embassy in Islamabad. Upon returning to the USA we discontinued this practice promptly. Perkins or perhaps car sale centers may have played into this decision.
2. No more poop in the street means clean feet!
My children have impeccable Indian manners. They take their shoes off at all entrances even entrances to some stores. I am considerably worried about stores with carpeted floors. I can just imagine my children causing a traffic jam in the entry way to Barnes and Nobles carefully removing their boots because of the carpet.
3. Please use a spoon.
With those impeccable Indian manners they also eat with their fingers. Like pros. Both consistently eat with only their right hand which is crucial to politeness. They do not dirty their fingers above their knuckles and Abe conscientiously wipes the plate clean with Indian mannerisms to boot. What will their grandma say to that.....or the next door neighbor.....or a waitress?
4. Pass not here....
My children do not know that passing gas is anything but normative. It is socially acceptable here like blowing your nose in public, a little discretion but perfectly acceptable. In fact blowing your nose here is the same as or worse to letting one fly in public. How are my kids going to respond to giggling cousins? Aunts? Uncles?
5. Worship requires chairs.
The church that my children know is held in a small room. We sit on the floor. We share cushions with friends. Some people dance, well one auntie. Some people hold their hands up. Some people sing REALLY loud off tune. We eat food. We drink. We sweat. We are allowed to wander around. What are my kids going to think about church in America? Not having to take their shoes off at the door might be the first real shock but then think about the food-less sanctuary complete with pews where you stay silent and in your seat. I don't know what they will think, let alone what others will think of my parenting.
6. Where has all my family gone?
A few nights ago we were talking with a couple on skype. Abe wandered in due to "Funderworks" crackling and banging him awake. These people have and are walking through the valley with us. They are special folks. The husband introduced himself with love and grace to my sleepy little boy, "We are Mr. and Mrs. M." My brain whipped around. I felt a part of me grieve. My little son is leaving a place where everyone is either an Uncle or an Aunt. My children can welcome and greet in three different languages but they have never learned the word Mister or Missus. The great gravity of change washed over me.
This will be a game changer for Abe and Zana, this massive transition. How do I explain to family when Zana roughly grabs their cheeks and pinches hard that this is how she has been treated by complete strangers while they sing her praises and she understands it as a compliment? I am praying for grace to walk with these two precious people as their world changes just a little. I pray that major differences in culture will come to light quickly so that I can help them understand a culture that is not their own, though they look like they should be a part of it!
As I sign off I thought of one more thing. Us Americans like to ingrain the skill of lining up, do we not? You must learn this skill by kindergarten or survival will be minimal. My kids don't have any line knowledge as of yet. I better get cracking on that one for the Sunday School classes they'll get to go to where they'll wear their shoes, hopefully not gas or pick their noses, and God-willing get to eat a snack with their fingers!
Here are a half dozen problems that I see looming for my children.......
1. Cross excitement.
My son sees a cross on a Catholic Church in a northern part of town perhaps once a week. Every time he sees it he shouts out with fervor and excitement. What will family think when this happens in the States? What will my little son think when he stops seeing idols, temples, mosques and mazaars daily and instead sees crosses? Will he fall under the false thought that everyone is Christian in America?
I remember as a kid always singing the American anthem when we saw the flag outside the Karachi consulate and Embassy in Islamabad. Upon returning to the USA we discontinued this practice promptly. Perkins or perhaps car sale centers may have played into this decision.
2. No more poop in the street means clean feet!
My children have impeccable Indian manners. They take their shoes off at all entrances even entrances to some stores. I am considerably worried about stores with carpeted floors. I can just imagine my children causing a traffic jam in the entry way to Barnes and Nobles carefully removing their boots because of the carpet.
3. Please use a spoon.
With those impeccable Indian manners they also eat with their fingers. Like pros. Both consistently eat with only their right hand which is crucial to politeness. They do not dirty their fingers above their knuckles and Abe conscientiously wipes the plate clean with Indian mannerisms to boot. What will their grandma say to that.....or the next door neighbor.....or a waitress?
4. Pass not here....
My children do not know that passing gas is anything but normative. It is socially acceptable here like blowing your nose in public, a little discretion but perfectly acceptable. In fact blowing your nose here is the same as or worse to letting one fly in public. How are my kids going to respond to giggling cousins? Aunts? Uncles?
5. Worship requires chairs.
The church that my children know is held in a small room. We sit on the floor. We share cushions with friends. Some people dance, well one auntie. Some people hold their hands up. Some people sing REALLY loud off tune. We eat food. We drink. We sweat. We are allowed to wander around. What are my kids going to think about church in America? Not having to take their shoes off at the door might be the first real shock but then think about the food-less sanctuary complete with pews where you stay silent and in your seat. I don't know what they will think, let alone what others will think of my parenting.
6. Where has all my family gone?
A few nights ago we were talking with a couple on skype. Abe wandered in due to "Funderworks" crackling and banging him awake. These people have and are walking through the valley with us. They are special folks. The husband introduced himself with love and grace to my sleepy little boy, "We are Mr. and Mrs. M." My brain whipped around. I felt a part of me grieve. My little son is leaving a place where everyone is either an Uncle or an Aunt. My children can welcome and greet in three different languages but they have never learned the word Mister or Missus. The great gravity of change washed over me.
This will be a game changer for Abe and Zana, this massive transition. How do I explain to family when Zana roughly grabs their cheeks and pinches hard that this is how she has been treated by complete strangers while they sing her praises and she understands it as a compliment? I am praying for grace to walk with these two precious people as their world changes just a little. I pray that major differences in culture will come to light quickly so that I can help them understand a culture that is not their own, though they look like they should be a part of it!
As I sign off I thought of one more thing. Us Americans like to ingrain the skill of lining up, do we not? You must learn this skill by kindergarten or survival will be minimal. My kids don't have any line knowledge as of yet. I better get cracking on that one for the Sunday School classes they'll get to go to where they'll wear their shoes, hopefully not gas or pick their noses, and God-willing get to eat a snack with their fingers!
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