Asian Fusion Foods rock the palate. This is not a blog about food. Today I talked about marriage with Jannat. You know, Heavenly Girl who cleans my dishes and mops my floor, she also eats lunch with Abe and Zana and I.
We speak this wild conglomerate of Hinglish Toddlerese while eating our noon day meal. She is slowly gaining weight and it adds a lift to her step. She does not like Hummus but greatly enjoys a BNJ sandwich.
Today we talked marriage. Her sister, who is married, has been living the last ten years with her husband and three children in her parent's home. This is distinctively unique. Most women move into their "Saasaral" home (in-laws). Jannat's big sister is leaving for Bengal in a week. It is a world away. A two day long journey by train. This young woman who is Jannat's advocate, friend, big sister and confidante is leaving for forever. Finally after ten years of marital bliss she is going to her in-laws to fulfill her duty. As we munched on briyani and pilao I asked Jannat about the mother-in-law. In not so many words the message came across bright and clear. Not a nice lady. Hard on Jannat's sister. Sad.
Together we talked about order of importance. What does God say? Men should leave their parents and cleave. It is Biblical. God, the All Wise, knew two many women stir the pot. Jannat was surprised to hear that for Hubster, God came first in his priorities, then me (his first wife~and only wife), then our kids.....then his family came in importance. She was flabbergasted. She then said for them it is Parents, then brothers and sisters, then your kids and then, she kind of shrugged like maybe then, your wife. Maybe then your wife fits into being important.
There is a special word for family in Urdu. It means "Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters." There is no others who fit into the word. Not wives, not grandchildren, no one. It took on new meaning for me today. I don't have mental energy to unpack this cultural and spiritual difference. Somewhere, somehow in the back of my mind I knew its depth but I had never put my toe into that depth and felt the current. Today I felt drawn by this sad vortex.
I think perhaps that is why in part Jesus calls the church His bride. He was redeeming what happened in the fall in a huge glorious grand way. He was taking that which was holy and had been made ugly, and He like only He can do, was making it precious, set apart and lovely again.
We speak this wild conglomerate of Hinglish Toddlerese while eating our noon day meal. She is slowly gaining weight and it adds a lift to her step. She does not like Hummus but greatly enjoys a BNJ sandwich.
Today we talked marriage. Her sister, who is married, has been living the last ten years with her husband and three children in her parent's home. This is distinctively unique. Most women move into their "Saasaral" home (in-laws). Jannat's big sister is leaving for Bengal in a week. It is a world away. A two day long journey by train. This young woman who is Jannat's advocate, friend, big sister and confidante is leaving for forever. Finally after ten years of marital bliss she is going to her in-laws to fulfill her duty. As we munched on briyani and pilao I asked Jannat about the mother-in-law. In not so many words the message came across bright and clear. Not a nice lady. Hard on Jannat's sister. Sad.
Together we talked about order of importance. What does God say? Men should leave their parents and cleave. It is Biblical. God, the All Wise, knew two many women stir the pot. Jannat was surprised to hear that for Hubster, God came first in his priorities, then me (his first wife~and only wife), then our kids.....then his family came in importance. She was flabbergasted. She then said for them it is Parents, then brothers and sisters, then your kids and then, she kind of shrugged like maybe then, your wife. Maybe then your wife fits into being important.
There is a special word for family in Urdu. It means "Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters." There is no others who fit into the word. Not wives, not grandchildren, no one. It took on new meaning for me today. I don't have mental energy to unpack this cultural and spiritual difference. Somewhere, somehow in the back of my mind I knew its depth but I had never put my toe into that depth and felt the current. Today I felt drawn by this sad vortex.
I think perhaps that is why in part Jesus calls the church His bride. He was redeeming what happened in the fall in a huge glorious grand way. He was taking that which was holy and had been made ugly, and He like only He can do, was making it precious, set apart and lovely again.
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